Friday, June 29, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Kem BTN dan induction...
heh...hallo...baru je blk dari kem BTN di pontian, menarik gak la perisiaannye...meningkatkan lagi semangat patriotik...hee...sbb tue saya menulis dalam bahasa malaysia...saje je...bersemangatn x?...
pi kem kat Pontian Johor...best jugak la...jumpe kawan baru sume...3 hari kem BTN dan 2 hari induction for taaruf.xda byk benda pon nk ckp sebenarnye...saje je rase nak update kan blog ni...lame pulak rase xmenulis...ni lepak kat umah utk 2 hari je...hari isnin dah kene balik UIA ade preparation dan taaruf...tujuan join sebab nk lupakan benda xpatut, xnk fikir benda yg bukan2 dan most of all to have fun...
sepanjang tiga hari dekat kem tu fon kene rampas la kan...xleh gune...memule marah jugak tapi bile dah lame rase cam best plak xde fon...mcm kat skolah dulu bole je kan hidup tanpa telefon bimbit...bese la kat kem BTN akan ade latihan dalam kumpulan dan PDK...pastu ade kawat lagi...mmg seronok la...
xda ape sangat nk tulis...heh...owh on da day nk blik UIA tue ade satu bus yg aircond rosak so kene la pi naik bus lain...panas giler la...heh...so end up kene reshuffle...aku dan 2 org lagi kwn tepakse la naik bus penuh lelaki...pening gler...diorg bese la suke wat bising...tapi aku ttp bersyukur sbb xpyh dok dlm panas...seronok gak...
heh... ade plak terselit B.I...dah la..heh...nanti ade ape2 yg menarik berlaku...aku kan report balik k...hee...
Learn from the past, NO REGRETS....
SMILE ALWAYZZZ.....=)
BE HAPPY!!!
pi kem kat Pontian Johor...best jugak la...jumpe kawan baru sume...3 hari kem BTN dan 2 hari induction for taaruf.xda byk benda pon nk ckp sebenarnye...saje je rase nak update kan blog ni...lame pulak rase xmenulis...ni lepak kat umah utk 2 hari je...hari isnin dah kene balik UIA ade preparation dan taaruf...tujuan join sebab nk lupakan benda xpatut, xnk fikir benda yg bukan2 dan most of all to have fun...
sepanjang tiga hari dekat kem tu fon kene rampas la kan...xleh gune...memule marah jugak tapi bile dah lame rase cam best plak xde fon...mcm kat skolah dulu bole je kan hidup tanpa telefon bimbit...bese la kat kem BTN akan ade latihan dalam kumpulan dan PDK...pastu ade kawat lagi...mmg seronok la...
xda ape sangat nk tulis...heh...owh on da day nk blik UIA tue ade satu bus yg aircond rosak so kene la pi naik bus lain...panas giler la...heh...so end up kene reshuffle...aku dan 2 org lagi kwn tepakse la naik bus penuh lelaki...pening gler...diorg bese la suke wat bising...tapi aku ttp bersyukur sbb xpyh dok dlm panas...seronok gak...
heh... ade plak terselit B.I...dah la..heh...nanti ade ape2 yg menarik berlaku...aku kan report balik k...hee...
Learn from the past, NO REGRETS....
SMILE ALWAYZZZ.....=)
BE HAPPY!!!
Monday, June 11, 2007
Friday, June 8, 2007
The EXtRaOrDiNaRy...
Some say that the extraordinary things can happen in the most ordinary days...Do you think you believe in it?...yeah maybe it could happen but to wait for it to happen is not something you want to do, then it becomes the expected....when you expect something, it happens then it becomes something just ordinary, so better not wait for it...hee...am I confusing you?...well i'm confused myself too...
This is the story of my life, not that I like bragging but sometimes I just have to let it out. to tell my friends is merely impossible coz they are all so happy with their lives and to burden them with my problems it is just not right. so,the only simple way to let it out is through my blog. Anyways now that I am really confused with my life...I just do not understand with some people.some of them are so sensitive at times. ok2...I have this friend, it a he ofcourse...the thing is can a guy be so sensitive about things and its like you can not even breath around him because every little thing that you just somehow seems wrong...I do not understand, everytime I want to send him text messages I have to think real hard to use the right words so I do not hurt him. but it seems to me no matter how I put it, it always seems wrong to him...he says its offensive...huh...the thing is I lived before knowing him even and met many guys the way I say things is the way I am...I do not like to cover and be someone else...whatever it is I survived before this but why this kind of problem arise now...pheww...I'm just tired...
Have you felt that when you are in a relationship your partner will somehow change the way you are...you are changing...not blaming on the other half maybe you blame yourself for changing...the thing is sometimes when you are with someone you are expected to change for them...to suit their needs and to please them...owh ok when you are in Love you do not seem to notice and when you are out of love you start to think back, how stupid were you then...you did all of those stupid things because of him and you yourself eventually becomes someone you do not like and you become a stranger to your ownself...and now he does not like me the way i am now..but I changed in the first place because of him...what an irony...
People around me whether they are my friends or not, they have a choice if the want to still be my friend or become my friend. There is no force at all. now, choices is what we make everyday in our lives. sometimes we made the most stupidest choices and sometimes its one of the greatest choice we have made...no matter how bad or good our choices that we choose in the past it is actually what we have become today. It is how we ended up here now/today.
Sometimes I feel lonely eventhough I am surrounded by family and friends...why is that? am I just not grateful or its just a feeling which I should ignore. I tried so hard sometimes to let it go and have fun but then thats only the outside...in the inside I feel terrible...sometimes when I can escape what I feeling I feel so relieved and 'bersyukur' (thanks to God)...but when the feelings comes I just hate it and everything that is associated with it...I then became a horrible person...
How can you be your ownself when you are haunted with what people say about you in the past that really hurts deep inside. its like you can never be yourself anymore. When you see the person that hurts you, you just do not know how to react infront of them anymore...I have that...it's like you are afraid to make the wrong move and feel so insecure...
Have you got a friend that you feel it is impossible to be friends with them because it is impossible just to yourself without them critisizing you back...it is ok to do it sometimes but to do it all the time is totally absurd....'rimas' it what Malaysians say...and you tend to wonder should you still be friends with them or just let it pass by because you might not see them ever again after a certain time...hmmm...just makes me wonder...
Anyway, I'm writing this blog just to let everything out because I rarely tell anyone about my problems...by writing I feel relieved...so if anyone feel offended with what I wrote I really am sorry...I did not want to hurt your feelings by purpose...just know that I LOVE all my friends, sure there will be hate or unsatisfied with the situation sometimes but it does not stay that way for long because after all you are my friends, always my friends that will stand by me whenever I need them...thanks a lot...hee...
Smile Always....
Be happy k.....
"Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie
Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity,
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS:]
I hope you know,
I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
[CHORUS]
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS]
La Da Da Da Da Da
This is the story of my life, not that I like bragging but sometimes I just have to let it out. to tell my friends is merely impossible coz they are all so happy with their lives and to burden them with my problems it is just not right. so,the only simple way to let it out is through my blog. Anyways now that I am really confused with my life...I just do not understand with some people.some of them are so sensitive at times. ok2...I have this friend, it a he ofcourse...the thing is can a guy be so sensitive about things and its like you can not even breath around him because every little thing that you just somehow seems wrong...I do not understand, everytime I want to send him text messages I have to think real hard to use the right words so I do not hurt him. but it seems to me no matter how I put it, it always seems wrong to him...he says its offensive...huh...the thing is I lived before knowing him even and met many guys the way I say things is the way I am...I do not like to cover and be someone else...whatever it is I survived before this but why this kind of problem arise now...pheww...I'm just tired...
Have you felt that when you are in a relationship your partner will somehow change the way you are...you are changing...not blaming on the other half maybe you blame yourself for changing...the thing is sometimes when you are with someone you are expected to change for them...to suit their needs and to please them...owh ok when you are in Love you do not seem to notice and when you are out of love you start to think back, how stupid were you then...you did all of those stupid things because of him and you yourself eventually becomes someone you do not like and you become a stranger to your ownself...and now he does not like me the way i am now..but I changed in the first place because of him...what an irony...
People around me whether they are my friends or not, they have a choice if the want to still be my friend or become my friend. There is no force at all. now, choices is what we make everyday in our lives. sometimes we made the most stupidest choices and sometimes its one of the greatest choice we have made...no matter how bad or good our choices that we choose in the past it is actually what we have become today. It is how we ended up here now/today.
Sometimes I feel lonely eventhough I am surrounded by family and friends...why is that? am I just not grateful or its just a feeling which I should ignore. I tried so hard sometimes to let it go and have fun but then thats only the outside...in the inside I feel terrible...sometimes when I can escape what I feeling I feel so relieved and 'bersyukur' (thanks to God)...but when the feelings comes I just hate it and everything that is associated with it...I then became a horrible person...
How can you be your ownself when you are haunted with what people say about you in the past that really hurts deep inside. its like you can never be yourself anymore. When you see the person that hurts you, you just do not know how to react infront of them anymore...I have that...it's like you are afraid to make the wrong move and feel so insecure...
Have you got a friend that you feel it is impossible to be friends with them because it is impossible just to yourself without them critisizing you back...it is ok to do it sometimes but to do it all the time is totally absurd....'rimas' it what Malaysians say...and you tend to wonder should you still be friends with them or just let it pass by because you might not see them ever again after a certain time...hmmm...just makes me wonder...
Anyway, I'm writing this blog just to let everything out because I rarely tell anyone about my problems...by writing I feel relieved...so if anyone feel offended with what I wrote I really am sorry...I did not want to hurt your feelings by purpose...just know that I LOVE all my friends, sure there will be hate or unsatisfied with the situation sometimes but it does not stay that way for long because after all you are my friends, always my friends that will stand by me whenever I need them...thanks a lot...hee...
Smile Always....
Be happy k.....
"Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie
Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity,
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS:]
I hope you know,
I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
[CHORUS]
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS]
La Da Da Da Da Da
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Confused
Owh ok...it's been a while since my entry...i use this blog as self motivation...sometimes when i think i'm loosing it i will write so that i can feel better and rationalise things that goes in my head. So when i'm not bragging in my blog i would jot down my feelings in my diary....so let me give you on the updates or the things that i've wrote before...
We can not really say how our life is going to turn out because there are too many suprises and expectations. the unexpected always comes uninvited that what scares me sometimes. The thing is that sometimes when the unexpected comes it is far more better than the expected. you tend to appreciate it more. Atleast thats what i think and believe.
YOu know how sometimes a person points out your faults and you get very confused with whether to believe what they say is true and you want to change it or you know better and do not feel the need to change whatever you've become...so i have a choice...
ok...i have to stop now...there is something going on in this house right now, with the shouting I really can not focus...so what do you do when your parents gets into an arguement or a really big fight...you are stuck in the middle..you do not know what to do...i really hope this family would pull it back together...coz this falling out thing if it gets worse it might end up in...hmm...dun what to think about it...
till next time...
Smile Alwayz...
There is always the brighter side of life....
We can not really say how our life is going to turn out because there are too many suprises and expectations. the unexpected always comes uninvited that what scares me sometimes. The thing is that sometimes when the unexpected comes it is far more better than the expected. you tend to appreciate it more. Atleast thats what i think and believe.
YOu know how sometimes a person points out your faults and you get very confused with whether to believe what they say is true and you want to change it or you know better and do not feel the need to change whatever you've become...so i have a choice...
ok...i have to stop now...there is something going on in this house right now, with the shouting I really can not focus...so what do you do when your parents gets into an arguement or a really big fight...you are stuck in the middle..you do not know what to do...i really hope this family would pull it back together...coz this falling out thing if it gets worse it might end up in...hmm...dun what to think about it...
till next time...
Smile Alwayz...
There is always the brighter side of life....
Friday, May 11, 2007
Songs that I listen tonight...hmm
These are the songs that i just stumbled across in my sisters playlist...something for me 2 ponder about...hmm
Artist: nidji
song title: Hapus Aku
Kutuliskan kesedihan
Semua tak bisa kau ungkapkan
Dan kita kan bicara dengan hatiku
Buang semua puisi
Antara kita berdua
Kau bunuh dia sesuatu
Yang ku sebut itu cinta
Chorus:Yakinkan aku Tuhan
Dia bukan milikku
Biarkan waktu waktu
Hapus aku…
Sadarkan aku Tuhan
Dia bukan milikku
Biarkan waktu waktu
Hapus aku…
Artist : UNIC
Song title: Demi Cinta Suci
Dengan hatiku luka pedih
kerana dicalari
cinta penuh duri
lemas aku dalam dilema
pada janji manis
sungguh tak bermakna
mencarimu kasih
bagai mencari mutiara putih
walau didasar lautan sanggup ku selami
namun tak percaya apa yang telah aku terjumpa
.....masih tak berharga
demi cinta yang suci ku relakan kepentingan ini
demi sinar bahagia ku hambakan diri pada Yang Esa
chorus: baru kini ku rasa, nikmatnya cinta yang suci
ia tiada bandingan dengan cinta yang kau beri
ranjau yang berduri akan aku tabah menempuhnya
penyubur iman di dalam jiwa
k dats all from me for tonight...I need to go to sleep now...tomorrow a new day for me...I have classes to attend to...yea!!!
haha...nite2!
Artist: nidji
song title: Hapus Aku
Kutuliskan kesedihan
Semua tak bisa kau ungkapkan
Dan kita kan bicara dengan hatiku
Buang semua puisi
Antara kita berdua
Kau bunuh dia sesuatu
Yang ku sebut itu cinta
Chorus:Yakinkan aku Tuhan
Dia bukan milikku
Biarkan waktu waktu
Hapus aku…
Sadarkan aku Tuhan
Dia bukan milikku
Biarkan waktu waktu
Hapus aku…
Artist : UNIC
Song title: Demi Cinta Suci
Dengan hatiku luka pedih
kerana dicalari
cinta penuh duri
lemas aku dalam dilema
pada janji manis
sungguh tak bermakna
mencarimu kasih
bagai mencari mutiara putih
walau didasar lautan sanggup ku selami
namun tak percaya apa yang telah aku terjumpa
.....masih tak berharga
demi cinta yang suci ku relakan kepentingan ini
demi sinar bahagia ku hambakan diri pada Yang Esa
chorus: baru kini ku rasa, nikmatnya cinta yang suci
ia tiada bandingan dengan cinta yang kau beri
ranjau yang berduri akan aku tabah menempuhnya
penyubur iman di dalam jiwa
k dats all from me for tonight...I need to go to sleep now...tomorrow a new day for me...I have classes to attend to...yea!!!
haha...nite2!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
A funny world we live in..
Ok...fine i'm a freak...this is what I do evrytime I drive back to UIA or back home...heh..I like to look at or remember or stare at other peoples plate numbers...I really dun know why...I guess it's my habit, or my interest...kind of weird isn't it...soo anyway this is what i look at in the plate numbers...whether it is WLP, WLS or BCQ...and the numbers 4241, 7702, 3571...haha...i remember peoples plate numbers...that someone that i'm close to once a upon a time a go...heh...so i counted the numbers which ones occurs the most and smile at myself sometimes for the satisfaction just by observing these numbers...some of them are really close...the numbers that keeps on occuring is 77...i wonder why...hmm...owh sometimes 553 also comes up a lot...heh...I'm quite good at remembering other peoples plate numbers...(most of the cars in UIA)...creepy huh...
Ever wonder how sometimes we stumble across smthing by coincidence but to you it seems like fate...but the truth is it is just by a mere accidental situation, i think thats what you call it...haha...I always wanted answers for everything that happened to me. I always want a quick fix when something bad happens to me...why is that? and when i try to fix it, it seems to get worse than before...the real world honestly does not work the way you want it...you do not have total control of what lays ahead in the future...there is always the unexpected will come up...
Why is it that when you are in love, you dun see that other persons bad side and when you are apart you see it and you tend to say it out to them...hurting them purposely...hmm...sorry for that...that other person does the same thing back to you...you are hurt back...it suppose to bring satisfaction but instead both of us gets deeper scars than we were before...what do you say when a person says your relationship just does not make sense anymore...hmm...am I suppose to feel bad about myself?...
So what do you say when someone says that you have no interest, suddenly you are boring, suddenly you are just the bad person, your that bad past of theirs...what do you say?...I really do not know...is it the best way to move on by remembering and reminding yourselves of the bad things people say to you...to move on, on the basis of what they say...some of the things people say are true about me...hmm...am I not loveable...I think so...Honestly, I am just afraid of being lonely...
Is it time to change...change to what?...to be a better person?...am I not a better person right now?...who am I...I have not find myself... maybe this is the time...I have to prove to a friend that I can live whitout a guy...I guess it's been some time that I'm all alone...I need to be independant from now on...
Why do people that don't want you anymore says that they still wants to care for you...they shouldn't....it makes it harder to move on...it is like their giving hope but actually they are not...just saying that so that you feel better..really...hate this feeling that I have...why do I have it...why am I still hoping when I know there is no hope anymore...
- SMILE ALWAYZ =) -
Ever wonder how sometimes we stumble across smthing by coincidence but to you it seems like fate...but the truth is it is just by a mere accidental situation, i think thats what you call it...haha...I always wanted answers for everything that happened to me. I always want a quick fix when something bad happens to me...why is that? and when i try to fix it, it seems to get worse than before...the real world honestly does not work the way you want it...you do not have total control of what lays ahead in the future...there is always the unexpected will come up...
Why is it that when you are in love, you dun see that other persons bad side and when you are apart you see it and you tend to say it out to them...hurting them purposely...hmm...sorry for that...that other person does the same thing back to you...you are hurt back...it suppose to bring satisfaction but instead both of us gets deeper scars than we were before...what do you say when a person says your relationship just does not make sense anymore...hmm...am I suppose to feel bad about myself?...
So what do you say when someone says that you have no interest, suddenly you are boring, suddenly you are just the bad person, your that bad past of theirs...what do you say?...I really do not know...is it the best way to move on by remembering and reminding yourselves of the bad things people say to you...to move on, on the basis of what they say...some of the things people say are true about me...hmm...am I not loveable...I think so...Honestly, I am just afraid of being lonely...
Is it time to change...change to what?...to be a better person?...am I not a better person right now?...who am I...I have not find myself... maybe this is the time...I have to prove to a friend that I can live whitout a guy...I guess it's been some time that I'm all alone...I need to be independant from now on...
Why do people that don't want you anymore says that they still wants to care for you...they shouldn't....it makes it harder to move on...it is like their giving hope but actually they are not...just saying that so that you feel better..really...hate this feeling that I have...why do I have it...why am I still hoping when I know there is no hope anymore...
- SMILE ALWAYZ =) -
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