Training bagi EBM

Alhamdulillah hari ni Sofeah minum dalam 4oz susu. Senang hati saya. Biasanya Sofeah tak suka minum susu EBM. Kali ni dia minum dengan banyak sekali. Nak kena biasakan dia dengan minum susu dari botol ni. Tinggal lagi sebulan sahaja saya akan mula bekerja semula.

Sebelum ini saya pernah bagi juga EBM tapi Sofeah muntahkan semula. Hari ni baik pulak dia minum je. Itu pun setelah saya tukar strategi. Instead of bagi susu yang dari freezer(kebiasaanya susu yang telah saya pam saya akan masukkan dalam freezer terus, bile nk minum malam sebelumnya saya akan alihkan susu dari dalam freezer dan masuk dalam fridge so the next day takde la susu tu beku) tapi kali ni susu yang telah saya pam saya musukkan dalam fridge sahaja. takde la susu tu beku. So terbukti sekarang ni Sofeah suke minum susu yang fresh sahaja.

Selepas minum ada la dia muntah jugak, ini biasa. Kalau dia minum straight from the source pon sama jugak. Dia terlebih minum tu tandanya. Saya akan teruskan usaha supaya Sofeah boleh terima EBM dengan lebih baik lagi. Nak panaskan susu EBM ni pon saya kene belajar juga untuk dapat suhu yang sesuai untuk Sofeah minum. Tak terlalu panas mahupun tak terlalu sejuk. Apabila saya dah mahir saya perlu ajar mak mertua saya pula since dia yang akan jaga Sofeah nanti.

EBM (Expressed breast milk) = susu ibu yang di pam

Smile Alwayz =)

Saat cemas~

Semalam genap sebulan umur Sofeah. Ummi dah ayah tak tahu ape kebolehan Sofeah pada umurnye. Nak dijadikan cerita, malam semalam kami menonton televisyen sampai pukul sepuluh. Sofeah tdo lena atas tilam dia yang empuk tu seperti biasa. Sebelum masuk tidur saya dan ayahnya masuk bilik dulu untuk siap-siapkan tempat tidur. Ayahnya solat sementara saya duduk depan komputer sekejap. Selepas ayahnya selesai solat, berborak la kami berdua. Tengah berborak tu dengar la sofeah merengek(biasa la dia kalau tidur memang tak pernah senyap). Saya dah ayahnya tidak pedulikan lagi dan sambung berborak.

Tiba-tiba tergerak hati saya untuk check keadaan Sofeah. Ya Allah terkejut saya apabila nampak Sofeah jatuh dari tilamnya. Bederau darah saya. Takut jugak la ape2 jadi kat dia. Kepala terhantuk ke ape. Terbaring la sofeah atas lantai, matanya terbuka luas pandang atas. Saya nampak dia macam tu terus saya jerit dan angkat dia. Saya peluk dia sambil mata berair. Perasaan saya masa tu tuhan saja yang tahu. Macam-macam saya pikir. Macam mane la die boleh jatuh. Budak umur dia dah boleh bergolek ke? nasib tak tinggi.

Masa nak tidur pon saya asyik terpikir balik kejadian itu. Budak kecik at that age kepala dia sensitif lagi. Tak boleh terhentak sangat. Saya ada baca pasal budak jatuh buai dan keadaanya agak kritikal disebabkan hentakan yang kuat pada kepalanya. Risau saya dibuatnya.

Pagi tadi pon sama juga. Saya letak dia sebentar atas tilam tu sambil saya sidai kain kat balcony. Kejap saja. saya boleh nampak dia dari cermin sliding door tu. Disebab ralit sangat buat keje tak sedar ape sofeah buat kat dalam sebab sangkakan dia tido. Bila saya toleh tengok Sofeah saya nampak kepala dia dah jatuh dari tilam badan senget atas tilam. Berlari saya masuk angkat dia. "Ya Allah, lasaknya anak dara aku ni tido" Saya pulak tak belajar dari kesilapan semalam.

Sekarang ini saya sedar bahawa saya tak boleh tinggalkan dia sorang-sorang walaupun sekejap saja. Kena mengawasi dia setiap waktu. Selepas ini tak boleh biar Sofeah tido sendiri. Kene ade orang jaga. Menyesal saya tinggalkan dia sendirian.~

~Maafkan ummi ye Sofeah~

Me being paranoid~

Is it just me or it's a common thing among first time mothers. I think I'm paranoid at least hubby things so. The thing is I worry too much of every little thing that happens to Sofeah. Am I being negative? I don't think so. I think it's just normal for a mother to worry about their child sometimes.

It all started when my daughter was diagnosed with jaundice. From then on I kept on worrying if the fever never did tone down. I could not tell the difference in the tone colour of Sofeah's skin or the colour of her eyeballs. Sometimes I just think that I'm seeing things or rather I think I'm colour blind now. There are times when I see like Sofeah's lips a little bit pale or her skin tone is a little bit dark or sometimes red. It worries me. Maybe there's just something wrong with me eyes that I'm seeing all these colour tones.

I also have this habit whenever Sofeah sleeps I will touch her or rather check on her from time to time to see whether she's breathing or not. Crazy eh~ I think so too. But I just can't help it. Maybe because everything's just new.

Like any other newborns, Sofeah have colic problems from time to time. This worries me a little bit. Sometimes you can see her bloated stomach and know that it hurts because she will cry and when she sleeps she does not sleep well, she'll make sounds and also moves a lot like she's not comfortable. Me and hubby did some research on the net and we might want to test giving gripe water to Sofeah. Since I breastfeed her, I too have to watch out what I'm eating. Otherwise Sofeah will suffer and I do not want that. I would do anything for my beloved daughter.

It's normal right? I mean for a mother to worry about their child. Especially when it's a newborn. But to worry too much is not good I guess.

So, Smile Alwayz and tawakkal saja selepas berusaha.. =)

I miss pregnancy~

One night as me and hubby were having dinner, Hubby suddenly asked me "Do u miss being pregnant?" at first I thought, why should I, I have a lovely daughter now. But then when I think back, I do miss it.

After going through nine months of pregnancy how could I not miss it. During those time I had a life in me. The life that is always with me all the time. I talk to it from time to time. When I'm sad, scared or sometimes a little bit emotional when hubby does something and I would always feel better after talking with the baby inside me whilst rubbing my belly. I love it whenever the baby gives a respond like kicking or punching me or whenever she moves her head it tickles me because of her hair. I love the feeling of being pregnant. I really do miss it.

When I read up my friends blog about them still going through pregnancy. It made me somewhat jealous a little bit. I want that feeling back. Sometimes.

Now that the life has come out of me, I feel really happy. Even though I miss those days being pregnant but having Sofeah now is even more joyful. The feeling of being pregnant is very beautiful. I really can not describe how. If you want to know how beautiful it is, try it(secara halal la ye). For men out there, too bad that you can not get pregnant and feel the beauty of it all.hehe

Can't wait for the next pregnancy experience to come. Insya'Allah jika ada rezeki. But I have to wait another 2 years for that, as my body needs to recover fully first.

To Sofeah, Ummi loves you soo much. You're the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to ummi and ayah. I love you from the moment you were in me. Thank you for giving me the chance of growing you inside me and for being there with me for the past nine months~

Smile Always =)

My fears~

As a normal human being I do have fears being a first time mother. I fear that I could not take care of Sofeah the way she should be taken care of. Am I doing the right thing?, is this how you take care of a baby?,what if she falls sick?it will be my fault if anything happens to her. But there are some things some times we can not get away with like Sofeah getting jaundice on her sixth day being born into this world.

I cried when she was diagnosed with jaundice. I worried sick for her health. I guess I was scared at the time and being a first time mother I did not know what to do. Hubby sent her to the clinic, I was unable to go with them as I had to go to tukang urut's house. During this time only god knows how worried I was of my newborn. I did not know what to expect and how badly her jaundice was.

When hubby got back we decided to go to SJMC for a second opinion on whether Sofeah should get admitted or not for phototheraphy. The results came - she did not need phototherapy but we have to take precautions. Expose her to sunlight but not direct sunlight as the sun rays nowadays are bad for babies. As I was breastfeeding Sofeah I also need to be careful with what I eat. I could not eat anything that has kunyit, halia, jamu or anything that is considered hot for the body or has yellow colour in them as it will make the fever worse. I had to take multivitamins especially those that has loads of vitamin D in them.

Jaundice occurs when a baby's heart is premature and a type of pigment called bilirubin built up in the baby's blood faster than the kidney could process.

Women of blood group 'O positive' their babies are more prone to have jaundice as compared to other blood groups. But then again according to the doctors that we have consulted, a lot of babies that is born today would most probably get jaundice because of the environment today.

Mothers should drink goat's milk (never give it directly to the baby as it would make the baby's guts lining thinner) and also as a last measure of cure, as in our case, we gave the baby mandian sinsei which you can get from a Chinese medicine shop(3 kali mandian).I also took multivitamins, goat's milk tablets(since we did not know where to buy fresh goat's milk) and I breastfeed Sofeah every two hours as breast milk is said to be the best medicine for jaundice.

A precaution for women out there whom are currently pregnant should try drinking goat's milk during their last months of pregnancy and also a lot of bendi (lady finger?).Insya'Allah your baby will not get jaundice (do ask your pediatrician for preventive measures - prevention is better than cure).

My second fear is the stitches that I have. I do not know how long it takes for it to cure. It still does hurt from time to time. I fear that the wound would split open without me knowing. I do not want to look at it as I'm scared. Sometimes to even clean it up I would not touch that part I just dap it with facial cotton. I soo badly want to know what it looks like. It might not be as bad as I think it is but I do not have the courage yet. I just can't wait for the doctors appointment. If the doctor say that the cut is looking good then maybe I will have a look at it myself. for the time being I'm praying that it is ok.

Then the other fear of whether my body can recover fully from giving. I've read about "rahim jatuh" and all. Since I do not do the traditional way of healing the womb such as "bertungku", eat jamu, message and so on, I fear it might happen. When the old people say about "sistem peranakan" and how we should take care of it, I feel like I'm lacking this part and in the future I might regret of not listening to these people.

I worry too much that is why I have all these fears. All in all I have to think positive and doa to Allah so that everything will be alright.

Smile Alwayz =)

Suamiku yang banyak membantu~

Terima Kasih kepada suamiku yang banyak membantu semasa berpantang. Banyak dia buat. Dari mandikan Sofeah, pakaikan baju Sofeah, tukarkan lampin Sofeah sehingga basuh baju Sofeah tiap-tiap hari walaupun penat bekerja seharian kalau dia mampu menyusukan Sofeah pun dia sanggup buat semata-mata kesiankan saya yang masih lagi dalam proses penyembuhan.

Kadang-kadang apabila tengok suami tidur, saya kesiankan dia sebab penat dengan membuat macam-macam kerja di rumah ini. Pernah juga saya menangis sebab tidak dapat nak kurangkan beban dia. Ikutkan hati nak tolong sangat dia. Tapi badan saya tidak mengizinkan, selalu saja sakit belakang. Ada masa kalau dia tidak menguruskan saya dan Sofeah, dia akan sibuk mengemas rumah pula. Tak reti duduk diam betul la suami saya ni. Sudah beberapa kali saya cakap tak payah buat tapi die tetap berdegil.

Dulu semasa saya kurang sihat dia lah yang siapkan bengkung untuk saya, ikatkan bengkung dan juga air mandian saya. Tetapi sekarang saya sudah sihat sedikit saya buat sendiri untuk ringankan beban dia. Bukannya apa, keesokan paginya dia perlu pergi kerja dan taknak la penatkan dia sangat. Karang sakit pulak dia. Itu pun dia tetap berdegil juga hendak siapkan air mandian saya tiap-tiap pagi sebelum pergi kerja sampai tak sempat bersarapan tapi nasib baik dia akan bersarapan jua di ofis. Sudah la begitu banyak keje kene buat. Tengah-tengah malam pun kadang-kadang dia berjaga dikala Sofeah menangis hendak menyusu. Setiap dua jam Sofeah akan bangun(seperti sudah tahu routine dia menyusu).

Sekarang saya sudah pulih sedikit saya ambil alih kerja mandikan Sofeah tiap-tiap pagi, tukar lampin dan sudah buat sedikit demi sedikit kerja rumah. Pernah juga saya membasuh baju Sofeah tetapi suami tidak berapa suka dengan tindakan saya sebab dia kata tu kerja dia, sekarang memang dia lah yang basuh kain baju Sofeah tiap-tiap hari. Bahagian memasak belum lagi saya buat setakat ini. Part ni saya perlu berterima kasih kepada Ibu dan mak mertua saya. Ada masa suami saya yang masak jika kami bertiga saja yang ada di rumah. Ada masa juga adik ipar saya yang masak. Terima Kasih ya~

Penat juga suami tercinta saya tu. Kena jaga isteri dan juga anak tersayang. Terima Kasih Sayangku~ Sofeah pun sama mengucapkan 'Terima kasih Ayah, Sofeah sayang Ayah'~

Anakku Sofeah budak baik~

Sofeah akan menangis apabila dia hendak menyusu, itu pon tidak berapa kuat.

Sofeah akan menjerit jika air sejuk. Kalau tidak Sofeah suka mandi.

Sofeah akan senyum jika dia hendak melepaskan angin dan juga membuang air besar.

Jika sofeah tersedu dia akan terus menghisap susu tanpa menghiraukan sedu.

Itu lah dia anakku Sofeah.

Ayah dan Ummi sentisa sayangkan kamu Sofeah budak baik~