Thursday, January 6, 2011

Year 2011~

It's barely a week in the new year but I'm already feeling the pressure because:-
  • Just started my M.A class, yesterday was only the second class and I'm already down in tears(will explain later).
  • Also taught Korean students, a bit challenging but managed to do it. Thank god it's only for 1 month
  • need to go to work and then head for M.A class in the evening
  • I really can't seem to manage my time yet. Trying to be a teacher, a student, a wife and a mother, I'm telling you it ain't easy(well that's why I cried last night)
  • Feels like I have no time for my family but in fact they should be my priority
I really need to get life sorted out. I need to know when to spend time with sofeah, when to do the house chores, when to..well people say "menjalankan tanggungjawab sebagai isteri", when to study and do my assignments and also class prep...pheww...owh yeah I need to cook for them as well and a baby is on his way~

I can't quit (my M.A that is, not my whole life). No way for me to quit. I just need to take it in slowly and do whatever I can. I mean, other mothers have done it before so why can't I. Just need to think positive and I know there is always a way for me to cope with all of this.

Alhamdulillah, I have a loving and understanding husband who I know will always be there when I need him. I am grateful as well that for the past month 1 did not work as I can spend the whole day with Sofeah, how I miss those days soo badly. I really hope sofeah understands that it's just going to be for a while (which I doubt she understands at all).

I need to sacrifice some things now for the future.

I've decided not to pursue my doctorate degree after my M.A because I know I can't have it all. What's important to me is my family. I want to be there all the time for my children in the future. Yeah I'm not that ambitious but at least I want my children to know I'm always there for them.

It really is difficult for me now and I pray everyday so that the next day will be easier. I'll cope somehow... Insya'Allah

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