This morning is the second time my daughter fell off our bed. I should have known better. I should have put her in her cot before doing other thing. After the incident she cried and when she has calmed down she was very quite. She didn't want to move. She just lay down. Maybe she was terrified. The fall shocked her. What I fear most is her health. I worry she might have broke her bones from the fall or the worse, bleeding in her brains. I fear for the worst. I'm a terrible mother. A crazy woman can do a better job at being a mother. I'm just down. Not a good day today. She deserves better. I'm a bad example.
Note for my dear daughter, Nur Alya Sofeah,
No matter how loud you cry and scream as a sign of protest when I or ayah put you in your car seat or your cot we will put on a deaf ear as we know that's the safest place for you. We love you soo much dear. I'll try my best not to neglect you in the future.
Your sorry mother,
*I feel like I've failed being a good mother. I've never felt so disappointed with myself like what I'm feeling now. I'll cry just thinking about it *