Training bagi EBM

Alhamdulillah hari ni Sofeah minum dalam 4oz susu. Senang hati saya. Biasanya Sofeah tak suka minum susu EBM. Kali ni dia minum dengan banyak sekali. Nak kena biasakan dia dengan minum susu dari botol ni. Tinggal lagi sebulan sahaja saya akan mula bekerja semula.

Sebelum ini saya pernah bagi juga EBM tapi Sofeah muntahkan semula. Hari ni baik pulak dia minum je. Itu pun setelah saya tukar strategi. Instead of bagi susu yang dari freezer(kebiasaanya susu yang telah saya pam saya akan masukkan dalam freezer terus, bile nk minum malam sebelumnya saya akan alihkan susu dari dalam freezer dan masuk dalam fridge so the next day takde la susu tu beku) tapi kali ni susu yang telah saya pam saya musukkan dalam fridge sahaja. takde la susu tu beku. So terbukti sekarang ni Sofeah suke minum susu yang fresh sahaja.

Selepas minum ada la dia muntah jugak, ini biasa. Kalau dia minum straight from the source pon sama jugak. Dia terlebih minum tu tandanya. Saya akan teruskan usaha supaya Sofeah boleh terima EBM dengan lebih baik lagi. Nak panaskan susu EBM ni pon saya kene belajar juga untuk dapat suhu yang sesuai untuk Sofeah minum. Tak terlalu panas mahupun tak terlalu sejuk. Apabila saya dah mahir saya perlu ajar mak mertua saya pula since dia yang akan jaga Sofeah nanti.

EBM (Expressed breast milk) = susu ibu yang di pam

Smile Alwayz =)

Saat cemas~

Semalam genap sebulan umur Sofeah. Ummi dah ayah tak tahu ape kebolehan Sofeah pada umurnye. Nak dijadikan cerita, malam semalam kami menonton televisyen sampai pukul sepuluh. Sofeah tdo lena atas tilam dia yang empuk tu seperti biasa. Sebelum masuk tidur saya dan ayahnya masuk bilik dulu untuk siap-siapkan tempat tidur. Ayahnya solat sementara saya duduk depan komputer sekejap. Selepas ayahnya selesai solat, berborak la kami berdua. Tengah berborak tu dengar la sofeah merengek(biasa la dia kalau tidur memang tak pernah senyap). Saya dah ayahnya tidak pedulikan lagi dan sambung berborak.

Tiba-tiba tergerak hati saya untuk check keadaan Sofeah. Ya Allah terkejut saya apabila nampak Sofeah jatuh dari tilamnya. Bederau darah saya. Takut jugak la ape2 jadi kat dia. Kepala terhantuk ke ape. Terbaring la sofeah atas lantai, matanya terbuka luas pandang atas. Saya nampak dia macam tu terus saya jerit dan angkat dia. Saya peluk dia sambil mata berair. Perasaan saya masa tu tuhan saja yang tahu. Macam-macam saya pikir. Macam mane la die boleh jatuh. Budak umur dia dah boleh bergolek ke? nasib tak tinggi.

Masa nak tidur pon saya asyik terpikir balik kejadian itu. Budak kecik at that age kepala dia sensitif lagi. Tak boleh terhentak sangat. Saya ada baca pasal budak jatuh buai dan keadaanya agak kritikal disebabkan hentakan yang kuat pada kepalanya. Risau saya dibuatnya.

Pagi tadi pon sama juga. Saya letak dia sebentar atas tilam tu sambil saya sidai kain kat balcony. Kejap saja. saya boleh nampak dia dari cermin sliding door tu. Disebab ralit sangat buat keje tak sedar ape sofeah buat kat dalam sebab sangkakan dia tido. Bila saya toleh tengok Sofeah saya nampak kepala dia dah jatuh dari tilam badan senget atas tilam. Berlari saya masuk angkat dia. "Ya Allah, lasaknya anak dara aku ni tido" Saya pulak tak belajar dari kesilapan semalam.

Sekarang ini saya sedar bahawa saya tak boleh tinggalkan dia sorang-sorang walaupun sekejap saja. Kena mengawasi dia setiap waktu. Selepas ini tak boleh biar Sofeah tido sendiri. Kene ade orang jaga. Menyesal saya tinggalkan dia sendirian.~

~Maafkan ummi ye Sofeah~

Me being paranoid~

Is it just me or it's a common thing among first time mothers. I think I'm paranoid at least hubby things so. The thing is I worry too much of every little thing that happens to Sofeah. Am I being negative? I don't think so. I think it's just normal for a mother to worry about their child sometimes.

It all started when my daughter was diagnosed with jaundice. From then on I kept on worrying if the fever never did tone down. I could not tell the difference in the tone colour of Sofeah's skin or the colour of her eyeballs. Sometimes I just think that I'm seeing things or rather I think I'm colour blind now. There are times when I see like Sofeah's lips a little bit pale or her skin tone is a little bit dark or sometimes red. It worries me. Maybe there's just something wrong with me eyes that I'm seeing all these colour tones.

I also have this habit whenever Sofeah sleeps I will touch her or rather check on her from time to time to see whether she's breathing or not. Crazy eh~ I think so too. But I just can't help it. Maybe because everything's just new.

Like any other newborns, Sofeah have colic problems from time to time. This worries me a little bit. Sometimes you can see her bloated stomach and know that it hurts because she will cry and when she sleeps she does not sleep well, she'll make sounds and also moves a lot like she's not comfortable. Me and hubby did some research on the net and we might want to test giving gripe water to Sofeah. Since I breastfeed her, I too have to watch out what I'm eating. Otherwise Sofeah will suffer and I do not want that. I would do anything for my beloved daughter.

It's normal right? I mean for a mother to worry about their child. Especially when it's a newborn. But to worry too much is not good I guess.

So, Smile Alwayz and tawakkal saja selepas berusaha.. =)

I miss pregnancy~

One night as me and hubby were having dinner, Hubby suddenly asked me "Do u miss being pregnant?" at first I thought, why should I, I have a lovely daughter now. But then when I think back, I do miss it.

After going through nine months of pregnancy how could I not miss it. During those time I had a life in me. The life that is always with me all the time. I talk to it from time to time. When I'm sad, scared or sometimes a little bit emotional when hubby does something and I would always feel better after talking with the baby inside me whilst rubbing my belly. I love it whenever the baby gives a respond like kicking or punching me or whenever she moves her head it tickles me because of her hair. I love the feeling of being pregnant. I really do miss it.

When I read up my friends blog about them still going through pregnancy. It made me somewhat jealous a little bit. I want that feeling back. Sometimes.

Now that the life has come out of me, I feel really happy. Even though I miss those days being pregnant but having Sofeah now is even more joyful. The feeling of being pregnant is very beautiful. I really can not describe how. If you want to know how beautiful it is, try it(secara halal la ye). For men out there, too bad that you can not get pregnant and feel the beauty of it all.hehe

Can't wait for the next pregnancy experience to come. Insya'Allah jika ada rezeki. But I have to wait another 2 years for that, as my body needs to recover fully first.

To Sofeah, Ummi loves you soo much. You're the most beautiful thing that had ever happened to ummi and ayah. I love you from the moment you were in me. Thank you for giving me the chance of growing you inside me and for being there with me for the past nine months~

Smile Always =)

My fears~

As a normal human being I do have fears being a first time mother. I fear that I could not take care of Sofeah the way she should be taken care of. Am I doing the right thing?, is this how you take care of a baby?,what if she falls sick?it will be my fault if anything happens to her. But there are some things some times we can not get away with like Sofeah getting jaundice on her sixth day being born into this world.

I cried when she was diagnosed with jaundice. I worried sick for her health. I guess I was scared at the time and being a first time mother I did not know what to do. Hubby sent her to the clinic, I was unable to go with them as I had to go to tukang urut's house. During this time only god knows how worried I was of my newborn. I did not know what to expect and how badly her jaundice was.

When hubby got back we decided to go to SJMC for a second opinion on whether Sofeah should get admitted or not for phototheraphy. The results came - she did not need phototherapy but we have to take precautions. Expose her to sunlight but not direct sunlight as the sun rays nowadays are bad for babies. As I was breastfeeding Sofeah I also need to be careful with what I eat. I could not eat anything that has kunyit, halia, jamu or anything that is considered hot for the body or has yellow colour in them as it will make the fever worse. I had to take multivitamins especially those that has loads of vitamin D in them.

Jaundice occurs when a baby's heart is premature and a type of pigment called bilirubin built up in the baby's blood faster than the kidney could process.

Women of blood group 'O positive' their babies are more prone to have jaundice as compared to other blood groups. But then again according to the doctors that we have consulted, a lot of babies that is born today would most probably get jaundice because of the environment today.

Mothers should drink goat's milk (never give it directly to the baby as it would make the baby's guts lining thinner) and also as a last measure of cure, as in our case, we gave the baby mandian sinsei which you can get from a Chinese medicine shop(3 kali mandian).I also took multivitamins, goat's milk tablets(since we did not know where to buy fresh goat's milk) and I breastfeed Sofeah every two hours as breast milk is said to be the best medicine for jaundice.

A precaution for women out there whom are currently pregnant should try drinking goat's milk during their last months of pregnancy and also a lot of bendi (lady finger?).Insya'Allah your baby will not get jaundice (do ask your pediatrician for preventive measures - prevention is better than cure).

My second fear is the stitches that I have. I do not know how long it takes for it to cure. It still does hurt from time to time. I fear that the wound would split open without me knowing. I do not want to look at it as I'm scared. Sometimes to even clean it up I would not touch that part I just dap it with facial cotton. I soo badly want to know what it looks like. It might not be as bad as I think it is but I do not have the courage yet. I just can't wait for the doctors appointment. If the doctor say that the cut is looking good then maybe I will have a look at it myself. for the time being I'm praying that it is ok.

Then the other fear of whether my body can recover fully from giving. I've read about "rahim jatuh" and all. Since I do not do the traditional way of healing the womb such as "bertungku", eat jamu, message and so on, I fear it might happen. When the old people say about "sistem peranakan" and how we should take care of it, I feel like I'm lacking this part and in the future I might regret of not listening to these people.

I worry too much that is why I have all these fears. All in all I have to think positive and doa to Allah so that everything will be alright.

Smile Alwayz =)

Suamiku yang banyak membantu~

Terima Kasih kepada suamiku yang banyak membantu semasa berpantang. Banyak dia buat. Dari mandikan Sofeah, pakaikan baju Sofeah, tukarkan lampin Sofeah sehingga basuh baju Sofeah tiap-tiap hari walaupun penat bekerja seharian kalau dia mampu menyusukan Sofeah pun dia sanggup buat semata-mata kesiankan saya yang masih lagi dalam proses penyembuhan.

Kadang-kadang apabila tengok suami tidur, saya kesiankan dia sebab penat dengan membuat macam-macam kerja di rumah ini. Pernah juga saya menangis sebab tidak dapat nak kurangkan beban dia. Ikutkan hati nak tolong sangat dia. Tapi badan saya tidak mengizinkan, selalu saja sakit belakang. Ada masa kalau dia tidak menguruskan saya dan Sofeah, dia akan sibuk mengemas rumah pula. Tak reti duduk diam betul la suami saya ni. Sudah beberapa kali saya cakap tak payah buat tapi die tetap berdegil.

Dulu semasa saya kurang sihat dia lah yang siapkan bengkung untuk saya, ikatkan bengkung dan juga air mandian saya. Tetapi sekarang saya sudah sihat sedikit saya buat sendiri untuk ringankan beban dia. Bukannya apa, keesokan paginya dia perlu pergi kerja dan taknak la penatkan dia sangat. Karang sakit pulak dia. Itu pun dia tetap berdegil juga hendak siapkan air mandian saya tiap-tiap pagi sebelum pergi kerja sampai tak sempat bersarapan tapi nasib baik dia akan bersarapan jua di ofis. Sudah la begitu banyak keje kene buat. Tengah-tengah malam pun kadang-kadang dia berjaga dikala Sofeah menangis hendak menyusu. Setiap dua jam Sofeah akan bangun(seperti sudah tahu routine dia menyusu).

Sekarang saya sudah pulih sedikit saya ambil alih kerja mandikan Sofeah tiap-tiap pagi, tukar lampin dan sudah buat sedikit demi sedikit kerja rumah. Pernah juga saya membasuh baju Sofeah tetapi suami tidak berapa suka dengan tindakan saya sebab dia kata tu kerja dia, sekarang memang dia lah yang basuh kain baju Sofeah tiap-tiap hari. Bahagian memasak belum lagi saya buat setakat ini. Part ni saya perlu berterima kasih kepada Ibu dan mak mertua saya. Ada masa suami saya yang masak jika kami bertiga saja yang ada di rumah. Ada masa juga adik ipar saya yang masak. Terima Kasih ya~

Penat juga suami tercinta saya tu. Kena jaga isteri dan juga anak tersayang. Terima Kasih Sayangku~ Sofeah pun sama mengucapkan 'Terima kasih Ayah, Sofeah sayang Ayah'~

Anakku Sofeah budak baik~

Sofeah akan menangis apabila dia hendak menyusu, itu pon tidak berapa kuat.

Sofeah akan menjerit jika air sejuk. Kalau tidak Sofeah suka mandi.

Sofeah akan senyum jika dia hendak melepaskan angin dan juga membuang air besar.

Jika sofeah tersedu dia akan terus menghisap susu tanpa menghiraukan sedu.

Itu lah dia anakku Sofeah.

Ayah dan Ummi sentisa sayangkan kamu Sofeah budak baik~

The day Sofeah was born~

~Thursday, 30th October 2008~

Me and hubby went to work like any other day. We did not expect anything special to happen on this day. So every thing we did that morning was just normal. We woke up, get ready to work, had breakfast and drove off to work. First stop was to send hubby to Mont Kiara then I drove off to Bandar Tasik Selatan.

As I did my work that day(not that much really) my back pains a little then it gradually becomes stronger. At first I tried to bear the pain as I thought it was something normal and everybody goes through it during pregnancy. The weird thing is that I did not feel the back ache for the last 4 months and suddenly it hit me the day before actually but not as strong as I felt that day. So anyway, after feeling soo much pain I told hubby that I wanted to go to the clinic and get an MC for the day and also for Friday. Hubby said if I were to go to the clinic I should pick him up first then go, so that's what I did.

Before leaving my work place I did think for a second that it was nothing and I should stay until office hours ended but hubby urged me to go to the clinic to make sure everything was ok .So I went to see the HR personnel for my maternity leave and also to tell her that I will take an MC for the rest of the day. As my due date was coming closer hubby feels more nervous and worries about my health.

Driving to hubby's work place was not that easy. I drove slow but at the same time I wanted to reach Mont Kiara as soon as possible as my back ache worsen. Thank God, as I reached hubby's work place hubby was already waiting for me and I do not need to wait for him like before.

Then it's hubby's turn behind the wheel, we chatted like we always do and from time to time hubby will ask about my condition. It was a 45 minutes drive to Bangi. I was not soo much in pain as hubby comforted me. When we reached Az-Zahra Bangi we went straight to the first floor and said that I want to check my stomach (saya nak check perut) and the nurse said, "Owh CTG, naik tingkat tiga" so we went up. I did not know at that time why I mentioned my stomach instead of my back ache. Up stairs we can see a glass walled room with babies inside. When I saw them I had a thought, "bile la baby aku nak kuar ni, berat dah ni". Because I had a back ache I went and sat down at the bench whilst waiting for the nurse prepare the equipment. Hubby at that time still watched the babies behind the glass wall because he really liked babies and could not get his eyes off them. I guess at that time he was imagining his own baby to be there as well.

When everything was ready, we went in the room and the nurse attached me with the machine. We were told to stay there for ten minutes. At that moment I could not even wait for one minute lying flat on my back as I felt like my breathing were cut off. I had trouble breathing. I felt like I was going to faint until the nurse gave me an extra pillow, only then I can breath a little but still I had to lay side ways. Before we know it, we had been in the room for half an hour and the nurse still did not attended us yet. Hubby did not know what to do. When he went out the room the place was bare. He did not know who to call so we just waited.

The nurse finally came, I was relieved. The machine had spitted out a long piece of paper with details of my contraction and also the baby's heartbeat. The nurse did not know how to read the paper so we were asked to go downstairs to consult the doctor. When we reached the first floor we had to wait and the nurse said the doctor had gone home. So, the nurse panicked and she called another nurse. When the other nurse came in, this is what she said "Eh, kenape suruh patient turun jumpe doctor, doctor dah balik la. Pergi cari bidan untuk bace kalau takde pape suruh jer diorg ni balik je"(ekspresi muke memang macam siot jer..haha) when I overheard this conversation hati tu terase jugak la, ingat kite ni main-main ke sakit tapi at the same time relieved kalau suruh balik ok lagi la kan, tunggu Isnin baru bersalin.

Then suddenly the doctor came in. She was from upstairs from one of the wards and has not gone home yet. She took a look at the chart then said "come-come doctor nak check, kerap sangat dah contraction ni" so I followed her into the room. In my head I thought "huh? contraction?bile pulak?sakit belakang ade la". She asked me to lay on the table so she could check how much I've dilated. When she put her hands in me I felt like I wanted to pee. It did not hurt that much. Then she said "masya'Allah, dah bukak 4cm pon. Nurse, siapkan ward untuk dia dan juga labour room". When she said this I can see hubby's face somewhat shocked and at the same time happy because in a few hours we'll have a new member of the family. Because I hadn't had my lunch yet and was soo hungry at that time, hubby asked the doctor whether we can go out to eat, and she said yes. It will take time until it gets to 10cm.

Before going out to lunch hubby went to settle things at the ward. in other words check me in a room. As I waited for him I sat down next to this women holding a one month baby boy. She was rather friendly. She Asked me when I was due and I said that very same day. She then described her experience delivering her baby. The way she described it was very scary and very-very hurtful. It did gave me chills a little bit but then I know hubby will be there with me in the room and I have faith that everything will not be as scary as it may seem.

When hubby finally settled everything at the ward we headed straight at a shop nearby. I ordered laksa(big mistake). As we were waiting for the order hubby contemplated whether he should go home or not to get some stuff. In the end he decided to go. So I ate lunch alone. I did not finish the laksa as I could not bare the pain plus knowing that I was 4cm dilated scared me a little and so I went straight to the ward. Owh whilst I ate alone the women I met earlier some came in the shop to grab a bite and when she saw me she still talked about the pains of delivery. Dalam hati benkek jer. Dah pikir macam-macam. Orang ni betul ke tidak ni. Nak menakutkan orang je keje. Pelik-pelik betul manusia kat dunia ni.

Everything happened so quickly and I had no time to reply hubby's message. Hubby constantly asked for my update so he would not miss a thing. I told hubby to drive safe and not to rush but knowing his wife is in labour he had to drive fast(read up wunslife if you want to know about this part).

When I reached the ward I headed straight to the toilet as I felt something funny coming out from down there. What I discovered was blood. I panicked a little bit but then I am at the hospital so why should I panic. I also had a stomach ache probably because of the laksa(an advice to those whom is about to deliver please do not eat laksa before hand..hehe). It was too spicy. After everything settled in the toilet I came out and a nurse came into the room. She gave those hospital gown for me to wear and she said she will come in again to take me to the labour room. Then another nurse came in. She gave me some medication to clear out anything I have in me. In otherwords to make me poop so that I would not poop whilst pushing the baby out. As the time got closer I felt scared as hubby was not there yet I kept on looking at the door, fear for the nurse to take me away without hubby beside me(a little bit dramatic but that's how i really felt that time). I kept on praying that hubby would reach the hospital in time(during this time i kept on looking out the window for hubby). I do not want him to miss anything and want him to be with me in the labour room.

Because hubby was not there yet. I told the nurse that I wanted to do my Asar prayer first. Hubby texted me 'doa panjang2 tau' just to delay things. He wanted to go in the labour room with me. I told him to relax and if I were to go in the labour room before he reached there I don't think I will be giving birth yet. Many people stayed in labour room up to 22 hours and yet they still have not given birth yet. When I prayed, I took my time and doa a lot. who knows what might happen while I give birth. I got really scared at this point. I kept on thinking about the videos that me and hubby had seen, the images was in my head. I could not picture myself like that and so the way out is to always be reminded of Allah. Selawat byk2 and also baca sifat2 Allah(that Raihan song).

Then hubby reached the hospital, we delayed going to the labour room again as I waited hubby to perform his prayer. I know he prayed for me as well. Both me and hubby were scared and excited at this point. We both do not know what to expect.

In the labour room, first with hubby then my mother came in. Bersalaman dengan ibu untuk mintak maaf sebelum bersalin agar permudahkan lagi perjalanan. Then my mother in law came to see me. I did the same, ask for forgiveness. I was then given some medication so that my contraction pain will be more in order. That's what the nurse said. It was maghrib at that time and so I prayed on the bed as I could not move and also I was attached to a machine. Again at this point I prayed a long time. The back pain no longer there but was replaced by the contraction pain slowly hitting me.

When the contraction got stronger and constant all i did was selawat banyak-banyak. Hubby beside me read out the doa bersalin(It was pasted on the wall in the labour room) and I repeated after him. I tried to take my mind off the pain and think about something else but I just could not. Owh, and the medication that the nurse gave me earlier made me a little bit drowsy. Because of this it did take my mind of the pain from time to time as I felt like it was a dream and also a little bit mamai at the time.

Just after I performed my maghrib prayer. The doctor came in. She broke my water bed using this long stick. I did not feel that much pain. I felt like I just peed when the water came rushing out of me. The doctor was kind of shocked. I think because there were too much water in me. hubby just watched silently(I think he was too in shock).

The nurse said if at anytime I feel like I wanted to poop just tell her because that will be the sign for me to give birth. When the time did come I told her and she called in the doctor.By this time I have dilated about 9cm. That was quick, I thought. Then the doctor asked whether I wanted to pee and I said yes so she inserted a long tube attached to a bag. the liquid just came out without any effort from me.

I know it was time to push out the baby as the first strongest contraction occur I did make an indication or rather a sound like it was very painful and the doctor said everytime I feel the pain I have to push as hard as I can. the first few pushes were not good enough as I was getting the hang of it. plus for the baby to come out I had to push more harder and at the same time with the longest breath ever. Since I can not take long breaths this becomes a difficult task for me. As I pushed hubby beside me non stop giving me kata-kata semangat and also comforted me so that I would not give up. I did have a thought to give up at one point but I still tried on pushing. I was at that time in the state of sleepy and also exhausted at the same time. I think I was hungry too. The doctor and even the nurses bagi kata2 semangat at the time. There were many voices but I did not know how many people were actually watching me pushing. At the time I pushed, I can't remember how many times as the first few I did not do it correctly and the baby's head kept coming in and out of me because I did not have enough breaths or rather I only had short breaths to push. Kesian juga kat die. It got to the point where the doctor said if I weren't able to push anymore she would use the vacuum to suck the baby out. I did not want that to happen so I gave it a one last big push and the baby did come out. In between the pushes I did hear that the doctor was having trouble with the baby - it's not turning. The head came out first and when the body's turn to come out the doctor said something like "die tak nak pusing la" I did not know what she meant but I panicked a little bit, nothing I can do. Suara orang disekeliling pon mula tenggelam timbul. Khayal sungguh.

It was one final push after that the whole baby came out and the doctor put the baby on my chest. because I was too drowsy and sleepy I just hold the baby(hubby said I had a blurr face on at this moment), I could not remember much in detail what happened. I did not even get the chance to look at the baby's face. All I could remember was I saw the doctor cut the umbilical cord and then the baby was transferred to another place for them to clean her up. The baby cried on top of her lungs. I thought it was normal but the doctor seemed worried. She said something like "baby ni ade masalah bernafas ni. Dia tak sepatutnye menangis macam ni". I worried soo much, one after another. ade jer masalahnya. Tapi disebabkan terlalu mengantuk dan penat semuanya bagaikan mimpi pada masa itu. Saya pon redha je la.

The pushing part was over. pheww. Then came the second hardest part which is stitching me up. I tell you it hurts like crazy. They had to put me on bius so I dun feel that much. The doctor took quite sometime. When she was done for the first time, yeah, I repeat the first time she found out that something was wrong and she did it all over. At that time tuhan saja la tau bertapa tabahnye insan yang kat labour room ni.huhue. Sakit sungguh.

After the stitching part done and I'm still covered with blood down there. My bleeding did not stop. They just tied those maternity pads on me and that's it. I was transferred to the ward using another bed. The feeling as I lay on the bed was indescribable as I was still drowsy, I felt like macam orang sakit betul la. Badan sangat-sangat lemah dan sengal-sengal. Rase macam nak tdo jer terus tapi ramai pulak orang disekeliling and I tried my best to stay awake. After the hardwork I felt hungry as well, so to stayed awake I ate a little. My mother suapkan bubur ayam mcd.hehe. Kuar2 dari labour room jer makan mcd. Lemah longlai betul badan time tu. Alhamdulillah semuanya selamat dan sudah berlalu.

I can not recall when a nurse came asking me whether I wanted to breastfeed my child or they would give her formula milk instead. I chose to breastfeed her. The nurse asked"ada susu ke tak ni?" I answered "ade". Tiba-tiba sahaja I showed her the milk and she said "owh, banyak". Deep inside I was happy and also grateful(Alhamdulillah). I want the very best for my newborn. The basic thing she needs now is her mother's milk.

Eventhough I was dead tired that night I still could not sleep well. I guess I got used to waking up in the middle of the night whilst I was pregnant. Everytime I woke up, which is like every hour, I would look at hubby and the baby. Both were tired aswell. Hubby also did not sleep well that night. From time to time the nurse would come in and check up on me and the baby.

Well this is all that I can share. There maybe a lot of missing parts that I can not recall maybe because I was too drowsy at the time and also it took me two weeks just to complete this entry. I have been busy lately with the newborn. To other women out there, It might seem scary when you listen to other peoples story about giving birth. Don't be scared as no one will have the same experience as the other. Like me, this whole experience was a bliss. I would love to go through it anytime over and over.

To my daughter, sofeah: Semoga menjadi anak yang solehah. Aammmiiiinn~

Smile Alwayz =)